Monday, February 13, 2012
Feeding the Mellow
My Grandmother as a young woman -she became a Pentecostal Miracle Healer-
the other lady is my
Great Aunt -a Kitchen Witch .
Today the Sun is shining and the snow is sparkling.
I am writing to you and enjoying a cup of coffee while my sweet 9 year old doggie Puffer sleeps curled up in his bed just a few feet away.
His snores add to the peacefullness of the day.
My husband made me whole grain pancakes with real butter and maple syrup.
I slept till I woke up naturally.
I am still running around in me jammies...lol-no running actually-just meandering yet...
I am in absolute gratitude for the life I have created.
Yes I created
Does that sound odd to you?
WE all actually do create our reality and the life we are in...
no one has you in a cage-you call the shots all the time
I am just aware of th ability to spin energy positive and have created what I want a little quicker than most.
During 2012 we will all learn we have the ability to ascend or descend with the power of our habitual thoughts.
Once I thought I wanted to be a metaphysical millionaire.
I was driven
I know how to use all the tools to attain success.
I marketed,promoted and worked hard all day-ever day...
I was annoying I am sure..
I did get a great fiollowing on my Madonna of the Doves: Messages of the Ascended Masters and after the show ones would call for phone readings at 5.00 a minute!
I did have 3 thousand people on my e-mail list and on my" I AM Prosperity" Ning Site several thousand .
My art was selling for $1100.00 and up
My classes were slammed full.
I was charging and getting 200.00 an hour from in person clients
AND I WAS MISERABLE....
THE PATH OF A HEALER WILL TEST YOU TO YOUR LIMITS!!
I HAD LIGHTWORKERS BURNOUT
I lost my joy...
I lost my reason for doing what I was doing
I was using the Law of Attraction and magnetization in a selfish way...all about MONEY...
My husband and I began to have problems
He lost work
I was so busy doing my things I could not see his pain.
I was judgemental- you see I saw him as creating it- and instead of aiding I judged.. How could some one be around me all the time and not learn how to use the energy..
He got worse and worse..
His energy was so low and so dark that I could not compensate with my positive energy...
WHAT IT THOUGHT WAS POSITIVE ENERGY-BUT OF COURSE LOOKING BACK I CAN SEE IT WAS TOO DRIVEN...
He was always there-in my way when I wanted to work- my classes began to suffer
I could not paint for having a depressed energy in the home
He is a big energy and seemed to suck all the life out of our home.
I was so angry with him all the time for ruining the energy
That I added to it's ruination totally-I could not see that of course.
AND SO TO SAVE MY MARRIAGE WHEN I REALIZED WHAT WAS HAPPENING I SHUT EVERYTHING DOWN. 3 YEARS AGO....NO MORE SOCIAL NETWORK,RADIO SHOW,READINGS,ART,HEALIN OTHERS...NOTHING -NOTHING FOR ALMOST A YEAR...MY HUSBAND BECAME MY ONLY CLIENT.
Helping him overcome depression became my driving force.It was truly my marriage or my career and I chose my marriage. I really do love this difficult man
We were spirit guided to move to Pittsburgh to the house his Dad had built.
I began slowly to do my work here... but it was hard- my own energies had been depleted, I found the energies of Pittsburgh to be hard to break through. I was tired so tired... eventally I was broken and left the area and the man for 9 months!
I could not save my husband and he was busy wallowing. I was exhausted and miserable.
I went back to KY to gather my strength.
And you know what.. my husband began to apply all the things I had tried to teach him. He got work and he turned around his own energy.
In KY I learned how to guard my energy better-I had a time of much quiet and rest...I learned about my Fathers Mothers side of the families Kitchen Witchery. I learned about the use and misue of the gifts of healing-they have a down side too you know-if one can give energy they can take it and some of my relatives had the gift of evil eye-they used... yikes!! Interesting but not for me!!
This is the microwave version of the 3 years.. it would take hours to relay everything!
Let me cut to last Winter about this time.. my husband and I were seperated-but he is doing his inner work and has a job- we talk on the phone for hours everyday.
I visit regularly.
We intend to get back together but am waiting till July to make sure- as I had an apt. and work...
I get a call from Charlie-the hubby- he had gotten a message from my Guides- " You need her more than she needs you..-She is on a path of service you cannot interfere-if she comes back to you -you cannot get in the way of her work. Your job is to caretake the healer- if you accept the assignment you cannot get in the way anymore of her work and expect her to be "normal" She is on a path of destiny.You are easily replaced. You will be rewarded if you care for her..."
He told me these things- like it was a huge moment for him.. I am grateful he took it to heart!
I had told him so many times-when he pushed me to get a real job...this is my calling-I cannot do any other work.. but he could not hear me...NOW HE HEARS ME-NOW HE SUPPORTS THIS WORK-NOW HE IS MY BEST CHEERLEADER!!
So- yes I created this reality-but it took time-it took hard times to crack through the energy..I earned this time!!
Now I am back- with a small radio show, with a beginning You Tube Show-teaching classes and doing energy healing circles...getting ready to paint again - the difference being - I am in balance now and have learned to work with simplicity which is my hearts calling.. being a metaphysical millionaire -following that broke me -as it was NOT my TRUE hearts desire!I was going after what I THOUGHT I SHOULD GO AFTER... NOT WHAT TRULY MATTERED TO ME!!
Now I do- it is TIME to meditate, sleep as much as needed, writing- doing a radio show when I am in the mood- having a class schedule that is easier and leaves time for rest,fun and time with my husband and friends.
There are things I DO need to add in- actually painting- doing my bellydance classes again and walking-but I am slowly adding things in to keep the balance..just enough work to do what I came to do-but not so much I am energetically spent...
Feeding the Mellow... it is lovely!
and that is that for today...time to move forward and enjoy another day in My Simply Enchanted Life.. I earned it babay-I earned it!!