Friday, February 17, 2012

Emotional Faithfulness

I am going back now to my years working as a Mental Health Tech. I worked for over 2 years in a residential treatment facility in Asheville NC as a mental Health Teach/Paraprofessional .The lovely old mansion had been converted to a facility for women in recovery that the State deemed them able to keep their under 5 year olds or they were pregnant.
Some of the training we received weekly from the psychiatrist on working as a team and on being emotionally faithful as a group overseeing women in recovery from addiction.
I have never seen such a smooth flowing organization. It all started from the top with the Group Home Administrator,the Psychiatrist,Psychologist and Admin team all the way to the Techs and the House Chef!

This is how it worked- we never talked about each other- not even about good things.. except in brief -communication ..because the women staying at the home were used to manipulating people- masters at it.. and even when saying something seemingly NICE - it was often a veiled criticism .It could work on your mind- cause divisions!
So if someone asked a question- we would say.. talk to her about it... no answers but that-talk to them...because the women I worked for in the group home- could TWIST anything.. next thing you know-you are saying something totally off the charts bad about someone( or the version ones would get back to them and  hear- it is twisted negatively)Better to say- "if you need to know ASK THEM!!"

In families being so close and communicating so often -ones can drop their guard in this fashion and become real nit pickers- very negative and horribly gossipy about their beloved family members.This is really hurtful and hard to bear.. but even worse--- much .much worse actually....

ESPECIALLY being critical about  our mates , children ,siblings and parents to someone OUTSIDE of the family unit.. THAT IS BEING EMOTIONALLY UNFAITHFUL !! If they are present or not- speaking about ones in negatively to others about our family,friends and members of our spiritual circle is emotional unfaithfulness!

Now the reason I bring this up-is I had forgotten to use this and while I am not a gossipy person I have allowed others around me to be so..
I have NOT stopped negative conversations in my presence!
I have listened while others rant,rave and ruin reputations in my very presence.

I am ashamed of myself.
I should know better
 I vow to BE better and to honor those I love with emotional faithfulness!

So notice when we are together- I may stop conversations and turn them around! I am going back to my mental health training and the best way to work with people effectively!

Recently without having all the facts about both sides I was pushed and accused of being wishy washy to vote someone out of a soial group -when all I wanted was to wait and get both sides of the argument.TO see it clearly.... I felt the manipulation but wanting to be friends and keep the peace-I was WEAK and let myself be pushed into decisions I wasn't comfortable with.. I was NOT emotionally faithful to the party I had not heard their side fully...I regret that-and will do my best to make amends...whether they were guilty or not-they deserved to be HEARD... 

I have been guilty of emotional unfaithfulness.
No one did it TO me -I did it to myself.

I will say this.. when we are around ones that are negatively hammering one another-or gossipers with the latest greatest.. your boots-when away from YOU.. they are then gossiping about,hammering and berating YOU my dear...oh yes... that is how it goes!
I remove myself utterly from such low energy and sticky energy.. don't like it- stay away from here!!

So as above-so below.. as within so without.. the root of this sort of behavior is feeling bad INSIDE.. not liking self. negative SELF TALK.. .being hard on others is a product of being overly harsh with self...

So let's work with positive self talk-positive speak about others.. walking away from negativity and gossip.. to keep the Peace-to be a true team player.. to be EMOTIONALLY FAITHFUL!

And THAT is my 2 cents for this day!!

Love n Light!